Just Say Thank You
JUST SAY THANK YOU
Someone told me last month that a class I taught really helped them. Before I could stop myself, I said, "Oh, it wasn't a big deal, I just kind of threw it together."
That class had taken me weeks to build.
I catch myself doing this from time to time. Deflecting a compliment, downplaying something I worked hard for, handing the credit to luck instead of just letting it be mine. "This old thing?" "Oh, anyone could have done it." "I just got lucky."
Does any of that sound familiar?
A lot of us were praised for doing, not for being. We got the gold star for the report card, the thank-you for being so helpful, the approval for being easy and low-maintenance. So when something good lands on us directly, with no task attached, we don't quite know where to put it. Batting it away feels safer, and somehow more polite.
But there's a cost, and it adds up. If we can't take in the progress we've made, the lessons we've learned, and the good that has come out of both our failures and our successes, we end up feeling like we're constantly behind. That's the trap hiding inside our always-more culture: if you can't take in the good that's already happened, no amount of progress will ever feel like enough.
Here’s something small you can try. The next time someone compliments you, give yourself a second before you respond. Let it actually land. Then say, “Thank you,” and stop talking.
That’s it. You don’t have to explain it, apologize for it, or hand the credit to someone else. Just resist the urge to discount your sparkle.
Fair warning, it feels awkward. I still catch myself wanting to jump in with “well, it was really a team effort” about two seconds later. But the more I practice, the easier it gets to let the good stuff stay mine.
If you're someone who has a hard time taking in your own progress, I'd love to talk with you about it. I offer free coaching calls where we can look at where you're still deflecting your own good, and what it might feel like to let it in.
